Some would argue that we need the filth of life experience to grow and produce better decision-making.
You ask, "What do you mean by that?"
There's no other way to put it. We need dirt to grow.
Spreading or talking about unpleasant rumors is called "gossip" by many, and some call it passing judgment.
The acceptable slang for gossip is "dirt". When you think about it, it's also appropriate.
Dirt. We came from it, we live in it, we go back to it when we die, and quite frankly, we need dirt to evolve while we live.
Let me explain.
Serious human mess-ups supply us with dirt, which contains lessons we need to learn and grow.
As such, we discuss and analyze slip-ups made by people we know or by public figures, until we make our own mistakes and create our own messes.
We learn "what not to do" or "what we need to do" by making our own missteps or by observing the ones made by others.
In other words, we use dirt to avoid difficulty. When we read about a drug overdose death, from that we learn not to abuse drugs. Sounds negative but it isn't. Know why?
Because the universe wastes nothing, not even our transgressions or our death. It recycles all things--seen and unseen--to offer assistance to life.
Facts don't cease to exist because we disagree with them.
Dirt is dirt.
Whether it's ours, theirs or whoever.
Granted, some information arouses personal sensitivities, and unfortunately, it can't be avoided. On the other hand, it would be more accommodating if we could alter facts to suit individual needs.
But facts are no longer facts if we change the details, are they?
Anyway...
... it's similar to injuries we sometimes get when we bump into a laceration and it makes us wince. We look closer at the wound to see if it needs antiseptic or a bandage.
Well, the same rule applies to unresolved issues from life experiences and how remembering them affects you emotionally.
The side of facts (or dirt) we choose to be on depends on what part of the experience we identify with.
When someone's dirt reminds us of our own or of a situation we'd rather forget, we become agitated and defensive.
Let's face it. In the garden of life, we get dirty.
Defensive individuals accuse you of being judgmental when you talk about dirt.
Naturally, there's a difference between being judgmental and stating the obvious and commenting on it. For example:
"Women on reality TV fight like wild animals, they obviously have unresolved issues. A strong penalty implemented by the networks would eliminate that kind of behavior, unless the networks are in on it too."
"Football players who knock women out and drag them from elevators like rag dolls, should be punished accordingly."Each of these statements re-emphasized the obvious and suggested solutions. Could someone misinterpret these statements? Of course.
Should the person who made the observation engage in heated debate with the individual who opposes their statement? Absolutely not.
Opposing views are rarely compatible, and anger makes things worse.
Now... moving on.
Using dirt from life experience as a topic of discussion is not passing judgment though each individual handles information differently.
Anything from colorful language to the tone in which it's stated can be a factor, however, the general message is clear.
It should be noted that no one is qualified to pass judgment.
However, all of us are free to analyze, write about or talk about what we see on TV, read in the paper, or witness in person and seize those moments as teaching and learning opportunities.
It's how we grow... not judge... but how we grow.
Truth "as you or I see it" is not the truth.
Scandals are uncomfortable when they are based on true events.
Truth doesn't require permission to be told. Nonetheless, it will draw criticism. In which case, the truth is gracious enough for acceptance and strong enough to withstand denial.
On the other hand, it's possible to discuss truth to the point of argument, which is something else altogether.
Franklin P. Adams said, "Too much truth is uncouth."
It's true. Some people handle truth carelessly, but then there are others who never touch it at all.
You judge which is better.
Truth and dirt are usually one in the same.
Growth is learning, learning is growth and truth usually facilitates them both. In fact, the truth often exists in the form of "dirty laundry", of life experience.
Take a beautiful lily or a rose, for example.
We marvel at the beauty of the bloom and are completely unaware of the stages of its growth. So, what was the process?
Beautiful flowers don't begin that way, they have to evolve, push their way through dirt, and they have to remain in the dirt (or soil) to survive.
How utterly intriguing is that?
We cannot have the beauty of life that comes with growth, without acknowledging our own dirt, as well as the dirt around us,
Our personal and collective scandals become the soil that anchors us in this lovely pot called life.
Truth makes us think about things we would rather not. Because when we pay attention, we're obligated to "do" something that brings us into balance with what we learn--or we have an opportunity for growth, as it were.
Telling certain truths is seen as more of a dare than a noble gesture.
Though we describe it as a healthy debate, it's easy for discussions to morph into arguments, in which case the term "debate" is simply a cute word for "argument".
Scandals, gossip, and criticism are all around us. Someone discussing a sensitive issue is met with a "how-dare-you-pass-judgment" response.
As a result, society ails with all sorts of maladies because someone in denial doesn't want to acknowledge the dirt that's all about on TV, in politics, in religion, in families or in general. They seek to silence anyone who mentions unpleasantry.
Dirt is necessary. However, at some point, we have to stop being dirty and just take root and grow from the dirt around us.
Article was written by Peggy Hatchet James
Copyright © 2015
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